COVID-19, Pregnancy and Breastfeeding: What We Know is Reassuring

https://avivaromm.com/covid-19-pregnancy-breastfeeding/

 

During pregnancy we’re fiercely protective of our health and feel especially responsible for everything we do and expose ourselves – and baby – too. If you’re pregnant, naturally, you’re concerned about COVID-19 for your own health and your baby’s. Who wouldn’t be? We’re inundated with overwhelming awareness about how fast it’s spreading, and there’s a lot of uncertainty about this infection. While a thorough search of the medical literature and the CDC website for data on COVID-19 and pregnancy shows just how very little is known at this time about the impact of COVID-19 on pregnancy and pregnancy outcomes, the good news is that what we do know so far is generally reassuring about the risks of this infection to otherwise healthy pregnant women and their babies.

Let’s look at the biggest areas of concern, who might be at higher risk, how to prevent COVID-19, and what to do if you should contract it.

(Please click on link at top to read the entire article on avivaromm.com)

We Don’t Need To Change Babies’ Sleep Habits, We Need To Change Our Expectations

https://www.scarymommy.com/cat-napping-night-waking-normal/

For seven years, I ran a monthly in-person breastfeeding support group and a Facebook breastfeeding support group. In that time, I answered hundreds of phone calls and emails from new moms.

The questions many moms had definitely pertained to things related to breastfeeding, like whether their baby had a good latch or if they were making enough milk. But they were also concerned about things all new mommies are concerned about, whether they are breastfeeding or not.

They wanted to know whether it was normal for their newborn to only to nap well if they were sleeping directly on their mom or dad. They wanted to know why their three-month old was still waking up at all hours of the night. They wanted to know why their two-month-old only took cat naps. They wanted to know why their 12-month-old still woke up in the middle of the night.

(click to read on scarymommy.com)

Please Stop Commenting on My Body

https://www.mothering.com/articles/please-stop-commenting-body/

Pregnancy and childbirth bring a lot of changes to a mother’s life. This goes without saying. Your body changes. Your family increases by one. Your brain changes. Your heart changes.

I found, that with these changes, something else happened: people felt like they could comment on my body.

I know. Pregnant women are beautiful. And there is something so exciting about a woman on the verge of becoming a new mother. I find myself smiling at pregnant moms or moms with newborns. And I enjoyed being smiled at when it was me with the large belly or the wee baby in a sling.

The reaction is automatic. I want to say: “You look GREAT!”

Some better things to say would be: “How are you feeling?” “You seem so happy/calm/excited!” “How about this weather?” Even “That’s a cute shirt.

I also felt beautiful when I was pregnant. And in many ways I loved hearing “You look great.” But it also somewhat diminished how I felt. I felt vital and strong and happy and nervous. I loved my taut belly and my growing breasts. I secretly hated the stretch marks that took my once smooth, white belly and zigged it through with dark purple.

And people did say I looked great. And one family member good-naturedly told me my butt was getting big. (Which actually really hurt my feelings, despite the fact that I enjoyed my bigger butt.) But comments on butts aside, I liked hearing how good I looked.

But the postpartum period is problematic. Look at how we treat celebrities. We all marvel at how quickly they get their “pre-baby bodies back.” No one needs to say that it is unrealistic to expect anyone to present with washboard abs mere weeks after delivering. And even if I know intellectually that that is an impossible standard and that surely no small amount of photoshopping or working out or dieting or styling helped achieve that enviable postpartum look, it doesn’t change the fact that women’s bodies are routinely objectified.

(click link at the top to read blog on mothering.com)

How Men’s Bodies Change When they Become Fathers

https://parenting.nytimes.com/health/fatherhood-mens-bodies

As an anthropologist who studies human fatherhood at the University of Oxford, I’ve run up against a widespread and deeply ingrained belief among fathers: that because their bodies haven’t undergone the myriad biological changes associated with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, they’re not as biologically and psychologically “primed” for caretaking as women are.

As a result, they feel less confident and question their abilities to parent: Will they be “good” parents? Will they bond with their babies? How will they know what to do?

As my own personal and professional experiences dictate, the idea that fathers are biologically “less prepared” for parenthood is unlikely to be true. Much of the role of parenting is not instinctual for anyone. (I remember the steep learning curve of those first days of motherhood — learning what each of my baby’s cries meant, mastering the quick diaper change and juggling the enormous amount of equipment necessary just to make it out the door.)

And while the biological changes fathers undergo are not as well understood (nor as outwardly dramatic) as those of mothers, scientists are just beginning to find that both men and women undergo hormonal and brain changes that herald this key transition in a parent’s life.

In essence, being a dad is as biological a phenomenon as being a mom.

(click link at top to read on nytimes.com)

SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT, SELF SOOTHING AND ‘GOOD’ BABIES: WHY WE NEED TO STOP SETTING MOTHERS UP TO FAIL

https://raisedgood.com/sleep-through-night-self-soothing-good-babies-stop-setting-mothers-to-fail/

“Is he sleeping through the night?” asks a stranger.

“She’s too clingy. You really need to stop picking her up.” says a friend.

“Is she a good baby?” asks a woman at the park.

“He should be self-soothing by now. Consolidated sleep is critical for healthy brain development.” proclaims a sleep trainer.

“You’re creating a rod for your own back.” exclaims a grandmother.

“I hope you’re putting her down drowsy but awake.” advises a mother at a meetup.

“Feed, play sleep! Feed, play, sleep!” chants a daycare worker.

“You’re not nursing him to sleep are you? That’s a bad sleep association. How do you expect him to learn to fall asleep on his own?” questions a health nurse.

“Oh, he’s just manipulating you, dear. He’s got you wrapped around his tiny eight-week-old little finger.” says a mother-in-law.

“If you don’t put your three-day-old baby down to sleep in a crib on his own you’re risking suffocation and death. It is the only way babies are safe from SIDS.” states a pediatrician.

These are the loud lies of infant sleep that our culture repeats from one generation of new mothers to the next, as if on autopilot.

Without questioning the roots or validity of these statements.

Without an understanding of the biological needs of babies.

Without knowledge of what normal infant sleep looks like.

Without an appreciation for how most cultures around the world care for their babies (and why).

These mistruths are dangerous, not only because they’re false, but because they’re full of unrealistic expectations that set a new mother up to feel like she’s failing. To doubt her own abilities. To worry that there may be something wrong with her or her baby.

(click link at top to read blog in entirety)

Sent Home From Labor & Delivery For “False Labor,” & Other Ways We Gaslight Women

https://www.romper.com/p/sent-home-from-labor-delivery-for-false-labor-other-ways-we-gaslight-women-

Laboring with my first daughter was not easy. After being sent home from labor and delivery for following my doctor’s advice (given as he boarded a flight to Aruba) to “go straight to labor and delivery” because my contractions were regular, things ramped up again and so I headed back to the hospital… and was sent home from the hospital, again, at midnight. This time I was bleeding, weeping and yelling through contractions that were 3-5 minutes apart, but was turned out because I hadn’t hit the magic 4 centimeters of dilatation. “If we admit you now, your chances of having a c-section will double,” the triage doctor informed me. Perhaps I imagined it, but I could swear the nurses smirked each time they informed me that this was my first labor, it could go on for days.

I hobbled away with a bath towel between my legs, enraged. My cervix might have failed to fulfill the textbook definition of active labor, but I was certain that my baby was coming. Sure enough, I was back four hours later, and by the time I got the epidural I’d been demanding for hours, I was close to eight centimeters; it was almost too late.

(click link at top to read the rest of the blog on romper.com)